Cat Burglar - Call of Cthulhu LCG

Thank goodness for those velvet ropes, else that painting might be stolen.

Taking a quick break from Born of the Gods to look at another recent release, Denizens of the Underworld for Call of Cthulhu.

Name: Cat Burglar. The name isn't that exciting or sexy, but it is simple and straight forward. It sums up the card into a simple concept, and on that front I like it.

Art: It's done really nice. Despite the inside setting, the shadows are accented enough that it feels like night. The background is lovely, particularly the floor, which has a faint reflection. The painting and velvet rope behind the figure is also a nice touch. Foreground you have the dark, shadowy figure, ideal for a criminal, but the center of the art seems to be the object he is taking, which is giving off a fiery glow, particularly from the eyes. My only real question is how the guy broke the glass. I hope he didn't do it bare handed, because that's a lot of glass shards.

Flavor: The effect hits all the notes it wants to. It's ability triggers at night, which is when you think a cat burglar would operate. It's effect also steals a card from your opponent's deck. The fast compliments the card concept, giving it a sense of stealth and slipperiness. The skill number seems a bit high, but I don't play much of the game so it might be right.

Demographic: While the effect is nice, it feels highly situational. It's not going trigger all the time, and there's no guarantee the card you get will be good or helpful. I'd classify this more as a Timmy card, just because when it works, it is freaking awesome, and Timmy is all about those big moments in the game.

Spirit of the Labyrinth - Magic the Gathering

A minotaur used to live here, but he moved out.

Name: Spirit of the Labyrinth. Anything with the word labyrinth in it automatically makes it more awesome. A quick aside: When is a maze a labyrinth? A labyrinth has a definite center, the path in and out of it taking you through the center before coming out the other end. Also unlike mazes, most labyrinths had only one set path, as opposed to multiple branching paths. In general speech though, it's okay to use the two interchangeably, since only antiquity scholars and conservative grammar users will complain.

Art: The story of the labyrinth has been told countless times that it becomes interesting how different adaptations interpret it. In God of War III, the labyrinth is suspended in gigantic boxes. The player first has to risk life and limb to assemble the boxes together before they can enter it and reach the person dwelling in the center. Here we have a massive stone throne, the labyrinth actually curving through it and the rest of the interior. The spirit is also nicely done, the wispy hair, white skin, and what seems to be pupiless eyes.

Flavor: A labyrinth is a very abstract idea to convey mechanically. The ability seems to have the general feeling while not nailing down any specifics. The main reaction to the ability is that something you normally could do you can't do any more. Your options are being restricted. That fits the flavor of a labyrinth, with the disorientation along with its original intent as a prison for the minotaur. Speaking of which, why isn't the creature in the labyrinth a minotaur? The minotaur is the most famous denizen of the labyrinth, yet the card drops the ball in terms of expectation. My theory is that they couldn't get the minotaur to match with the labyrinth's ability. The effect feels more white/blue, while minotaurs in this plane are red/black. I feel like maybe they could have splurged a little, making the card have creatures come into play tapped, an ability that has appeared in red and has the whole disorienting feeling. But maybe that card isn't want the format needed. The flavor text has me a little baffled. This spirit is some sort of teacher? Okay, why is it in a labyrinth and what is it supposed to teach?

Demographic: It's a small creature with an effect that hoses certain ability. When a card hoses, odds are it was meant for Spike. It's size also makes it fit neatly into a curve, making it an option open for multiple tournament decks. That said, I think the card also finds a home in multiplayer, being an effect that affects everyone at the table.

Hero of Leina Tower - Magic the Gathering

She's tougher than she looks.

Currently doing random cards from Born of the Gods, using a random generator to pick a number from 1-165 and doing whatever it lands on.

Name: Hero of Leina Tower. Hero is spot on, this card sporting the heroic mechanic and all. My only complaint is the Leina Tower bit. There is no bloody tower in the artwork. Admittedly, adding tower to the province name is much more impressive than saying Hero of Leina, plus the word gives the impression of something you build up into something massive. I just would have preferred if there was some sort of art cue, then again though the name and the art probably weren't decided at the same time.

Art: Despite being towerless, the art is actually pretty good. Composition wise, you have a strong heroic figure in the foreground, with a huge, hulking beast lying dead in the background. The viewer is able to fill in the gaps, creating a little narrative. This gets across both the small size of the figure, compared to the beast in back, along with the potential power of it.

Flavor: Heroic is a very difficult mechanic to show and explain flavor wise. The flavor text on this card though captures the feeling perfectly. Your creature is only potentially great. You still need that extra card in order to bring that strength to fruition. The text nicely ties the mechanic to the flavor.

Aesthetic: To be honest, this is not a very exciting rare to me. Why? Pay X. Having a mechanic that triggers an effect can be awesome, such as landfall. Having a mechanic that triggers a payment you can or can not pay to get the effect feels much less so. I'm certain the card is more powerful than she looks, that being the whole flavor of the card, but it doesn't get me as excited as automatically giving a +1/+1 counter would. This card is more about making you think how to make it work, as opposed to something that automatically comes across as sexy. In terms of player psyches, my guess would be Johnny.

Heroes' Podium - Magic the Gathering

Heroes from Theros gather for some D&D.

Name. Heroes' Podium. It's alright, the main part I like is the heroes bit, since the word emphasizes that the card works with legendary creatures. Podium feels a little off though, which I'll get to. Also, while the name is fine for a normal card, this thing is legendary. Legendary objects are special and one of a kind, meaning there are usually some fancy names attached to them to make them feel localized. Here though it's just a podium for heroes.

Art. Gorgeous as always. We have a classic structure with columns stretching to the back, and we can even make out a picture on the back wall. We also have visual cues and cameos with Anthousa to the left and Anax and Cymede to the right. The podium is... interesting. It has several animal motifs going, but what confuses me is what looks like a holographic image of a mountain over the tabletop. Not a standard feature of any podium I remember. Yes, I know its Magic, but what is it's purpose? Podium has several definitions, some meaning the raised platform that makes up the floor of the temple, while others serve as stands for public speaking. Nowhere is there mention of platforms used to display maps or make battle plans.

Flavor. The card is essentially a hall of heroes, a place where heroes get together and put their combined strength together to make plans, negotiate, and solve problems. This it hits perfectly with the first ability. The odd thing though is that this concept feels like it wants to be a land card, not an artifact. Your heroes are gathering at a place, not gathering around a singular object. However, it being a land would make it too powerful, since Magic has yet to work out lands with mana costs without making it feel clunky. And the second ability feels completely off, essentially filtering your deck for more heroes. Mechanically it makes sense and it goes nicely with the first ability, but flavor wise I have no idea why the object does that? Does the podium have some mystical scrying pool the heroes use to search for other heroes to join them? Again, that is not what a podium does. You can't even argue the second ability is an invitation to the other heroes, since the effect has to actually find heroes first before it can add them to your hand.

Aesthetic. It's a build-around-me card for legendary creatures. For some players, this will be awesome, since playing with legends is awesome and this card makes them more awesome. For other players though, particularly those who survived through Kamigawa, this may leave a bit of a sour taste in their mouths.

Nyxborn Shieldmate - Magic the Gathering

He's entering another dimension.

Okay, today I am going to attempt to actually rate a card regardless of the game its from or how it plays. I'll probably still go off on rants and useless trivia, but at least these things should become a bit more structured, I hope.

Name. Nyxborn Shieldmate. The name is alright. Nyxborn is combining a real word with a made up one, nyx referring to the place of the gods and dreams on Theros. Shieldmate has been used before in Magic, most recently with Elgaud Shieldmate from Avacyn Restored. It's meant not to just convey a guy holding a shield, but also a creature that interacts with other creatures. Elgaud bonded with them. Nyxborn bestows them.

Art. The art of the nyx is always gorgeous, space being filled with a sky full of stars and colors. The art here goes the extra mile. If you look at the background, you'll notice its a wall covered with a mosaic. The figure in the art is actually coming out of this mosaic. If you look at his left arm and leg, this detail becomes even more clear. The picture is literally art coming to life.

Flavor. Bestow is always a flavorful mechanic, one that is very pleasing because of its symmetry. Though I am confused about how this creature enchants another. Does just its shield come off the wall, or does the enchanted creature have the soldier's image painted on them, and it comes to life when they die. The text in italics confuses me a bit. It is referring to walls, nodding to the fact that the creature is essentially a wall painting, and it references the two of the main cities, contrasting them to give them an identity. But why is the text on this card. Other than the creature is popping out of a wall, there is little to no connection. Why not something along the lines of Art imitating life.

Aesthetic: Its a wall painting that you bring to life. Pretty cool to me.

Pharagax Giant - Magic the Gathering

The gods have more aggressive donation campaigns.

Time to shamelessly increase my page view count by talking about a set everyone is talking about, MTG's Born of the Gods. Today's card I want to use to soapbox about one of the new set mechanics: Tribute. Tribute is a nicely flavored mechanic, particularly for Greek mythology. When you play the creature, you choose an opponent, and they either pay homage to your creature or feel it's wrath. In this case, you either get a 5/5 for 5, or a 3/3 that deals 5 damage to all opponents for 5.

This mechanic has one major flaw in my opinion; The player is not in control of the card. Instead, the opponent chooses what it does. There are a lot of random random cards in Magic, cards that operate by luck and/or chance. These mechanics tended to backfire, since players like certainty. They like knowing exactly what the card is going to do. They are willing to make some concessions, like with decks and card drawing, but losing a game because you lost a coin flip is a very bad feeling. There's an extra wrinkle with the tribute mechanic. Since your opponent is picking the effect, in a game of two-player Magic, you are guaranteed to get whichever is the worse effect. It will never do what you really want it to do. Compare this to kicker, or a choose one choice card. In both of these, you are the one who gets to make the decision, resulting in an overall more positive experience.

As much as I have been trashing tribute though, there is one format where the mechanic truly shines: multiplayer. Magic multiplayer is often a game of diplomacy. Players often do favors for one another, trying to form alliances. Tribute is a good diplomacy mechanic. You can do favors for one opponent, and in return that player can choose which part of the tribute to activate. The fact that Pharagax Giant's one effect deals damage to each opponent, this really hammers home for me the desire for tribute cards to be used in multiplayer. In formats like limited or standard though, the mechanic feels a bit flat. And this is what they replaced monstrous with. I think tribute would have worked better as a Commander mechanic as opposed to a main set one.

To close up, back to the actual card, the art is really effective. It is drawn from a perspective where you are looking upwards, making the giant seem even more towering. Oh, and pray for the man who is closest to the giant, not because he might get trampled, but because he might get a very disturbing view of what's under those loins.

Risebell the Star Psycher - Yu-Gi-Oh!

What the hell are those demon dog things?

This is actually not the first Risebell. Their is another counterpart that first appeared in Lord of Tachyon Galaxy, called Risebell the Star Adjustor. In both cases though, the TCG got it wrong. In the Japanese, the card's name isn't Risebell, it is Risebelt. You know, like the stellar cluster known as Orion's Belt. And this guy is connected to the stars. This was apparently lost on the TCG, since they went with Risebell, missing that crucial -to at the end of the Japanese name. The only other explanation is that they had originally translated it correctly, but were worried it might be misinterpreted as some kind of weird euphemism. Then again, just about anything in Yu-Gi-Oh! can be turned into a euphemism, and the tail between the legs in the art undermines the whole sentiment, so it's still kind of a stupid reason, but one that at least doesn't insult the intelligence of the translators.

And the other part of the the name, Star Psycher. The original Japanese translates roughly to Star Awakener, which conjures in my mind Risebelt tapping into the unused potential of the stars and bringing it out. But the TCG decided for some reason that psycher is a better word (because it's a psychic monster, har, har), which now just conjures the image of Risebelt giving the stars a pep talk, trying to get them riled up for the game. In short, it's a needless change that takes away any mysticism or mystery behind the card.

Skelesaurus - Yu-Gi-Oh!

Jurassic Park of the Living Dead.

I pick on the translators and localizers for the TCG, but occasionally they actually make good decisions. This card is an example of that. While Skelesaurus in the TCG, the OCG version has a different name: Natural Bone Saurus. What. Seriously, this is a phrase I have never heard used in my life. I think I understand why its specified as Natural Bone though. Most dinosaurs fossils aren't the actually bones. They're fossilized, meaning all the bone has been replaced with rock and sediment. That's part of why in GX the Fossil monsters that show up are specified as Rock monsters. Here though we are dealing with the actually bones, as opposed to rocks shaped like the bones.

Still, the Japanese name is odd, just because it sounds unnatural. And this isn't even an artifact of translating the Japanese; the OCG card name is actually in Engrish. The TCG translators must have realized all this, and therefore decided to come up with a new name. Hence the portmanteau above. The English name in my opinion actually sounds better than the Japanese one, thereby proving that not all change is necessarily a bad thing.

Terrene Toothed Tsuchinoko - Yu-Gi-Oh!

Watch out for snakes.

This is an odd case. The English name, as shown above, is Terrene Toothed Tsuchinoko. The Japanese name however is Tsuchinoko. The TCG actually added adjectives to this card's name. What. Just what. Why in heaven's name would you do this? Usually the TCG is removing words from a name, either because it's too long for English or because the Japanese name is redundant, listing the name in both Japanese and Engrish. For example, if you translate the name of Jellyfish from the OCG, you end up with Jellyfish - Jellyfish, since the card has both the Japanese word for jellyfish, followed by a pronunciation of the English word jellyfish. This card is the complete opposite though. The TCG is adding words that were never there.

The words they added are equally strange. The first word is terrene. I actually had to look this word up, that's how often it's used. The definition I got links it to the word terra, meaning earth, making the definition worldly or earthy. Yes, it was very important that they tell us this monster is earthy, less we look at the art and it's attribute and confuse it for a sea-dwelling monster. The second word is toothed. Well, you can see the two top fangs. Barely qualifies as toothed though. Maybe the toothed part refers to the spikes this version have, but then why not just say spiked? Is the alliteration that important? I would have been fine if it was just Spiked Tsuchinoko, since the illustrations and descriptions I'm finding don't usually depict this guy with spikes.

Now, what exactly is a tsuchinoko. The tsuchinoko is a mythological snake-like creature, different from snakes in that it's often depicted with a bulge following the head. After that description, reports of the tsuchinoko start to wildly diverge. Some say it can actually jump. Others say it can speak. Some say its poisonous. Others say it has a propensity for alcohol. The claim that's my favorite is that it can swallow its own tail, then travel around by rolling in a hoop shape. Unfortunately, the tsuchinoko has reached cryptozoological status, meaning amateurs with cameras go hunting for it and report seeing it when alone or in blurry photos. I don't wish to sound demeaning, since things like the coelacanth do pop up, but sadly most people in the field of cryptozoology have no idea what they're doing and only have the vaguest notions about what science actually is.

Ghostrick Yuki-onna - Yu-Gi-Oh!

She's a snow spirit, hence the exposed legs.

Before we discuss the change, what is a yuki-onna? Bloody terrifying, that's what it is. Yuki-onna are spirits and/or demons in Japanese folklore that often appear in snowstorms as a woman in white. Seeing her is very bad, because it usually means you are about to freeze to death. Despite the unfathomable horror though, Yu-Gi-Oh! takes a yuki-onna and makes it look adorable. In general, that's what the Ghostrick do, take horror monsters and concepts and turn them into a goofy band of misfits all living together. The ability is a nice fit too, freezing the monster who destroys it.

So, what did the TCG change this time. Here is the original Japanese art.

Oddly no objection from the TCG to the skirt length.

Don't notice the difference. In the Japanese version, the snowflake in her hair resembles a six-pointed star, with two overlapping triangles and a circle in the middle. In the TCG, the snowflake is redrawn to look more realistic, probably to avoid any religious connotation. My opinion on this change is mixed. On the one hand, it is a minor change and hardly noticeable. On the other hand, it is a minor change and hardly noticeable. Why change such a minor detail that no one notices? What doesn't help is the reason for the change is ridiculous. It's a bloody geometric pattern! Even if people did interpret this as a reference to Judaism, what is wrong with that? It's not portraying the symbol in a negative light, nor is it advocating the religion that uses it. Its not offensive or demeaning, and it's not propaganda. So, whoever is in charge of localization, please explain to me; What is wrong with this?

Battlin' Boxer Rib Gardna - Yu-Gi-Oh!

I can't help but notice the neon orange cup.

This card raises an interesting debate regarding its name. I'm not talking about the Burning Knuckler -> Battlin' Boxer thing. As far as localizations go, this actually isn't a bad one. Why they felt they couldn't use Burning Knuckler though is beyond me. When Rib Gardna was first spoiled, fanslators were translating it as Burning Knuckler Leverage Gardna. But the translation the TCG seemed to go with was Burning Knuckler Ribbage Gardna. Due to certain Japanese practices, like the l and the r thing, both translations are actual possibilities. If I had to guess, Ribbage Gardna though was probably the original intention, but there is still an interesting lesson in all this.

Next thing I want to talk about is the ability. In the card game, this guy has a blink effect. Blink effects temporarily remove a card, often your own, from the game. The usefulness of this ability is that it allows cards to dodge removal, whether targeted or sweeping. This is actually a useful ability, one that conveys the idea of the Gardna taking the blow for your guys. However, that was not Rib Gardna's anime ability, not even close. In the anime, Gardna redirects an attack targeting it to another monster you control. It is also an anti-Exceed monster (yes, I know its Xyz, but the fanslation is an actually word and is spelled the way you would pronounce it), detaching all Materials from the attacking monster. This is a general trend I do not get. If you are going to make a card with a totally different ability, why not just make it a totally different card? Why not print Rib Gardna with its anime ability, then print an original Battlin' Boxer monster with this ability?

Baby Raccoon Ponpoko - Yu-Gi-Oh!

THIS IS NOT A RACCOON.

It's the new year, and my resolution is to actually work on this again. I'm looking at the TCG release of Shadow Specters, mainly to call out and poke fun at the localiztion. Which brings us this little guy. In the OCG release, this guy wasn't a baby raccoon, but rather a baby tanuki. Tanuki is a Japanese word that has special connotations and meanings in Japan and absolutely no meaning in the US. First, a tanuki isn't a raccoon, but rather a similar looking animal, called a raccoon dog. They have similar face shapes and patterns to raccoons, but raccoon dogs are often stockier and don't all have the repeating ring patterns on the tail. Since nobody in the US knows what a raccoon dog is though, translators often purposely mistranslate it as a raccoon. The two are similar enough that nobody notices the difference.

Tanukis also feature prominently in Japanese folklore. Similar to how Native American tales have magical trickster animals like Coyote, Japan has the tanukis. They are said to be shapeshifters, often impish and prankish and nature, but their tricks are meant to do any real harm. Often times, tanukis can be helpful animals, loaning money to those who need it (though make sure it's not just leaves), or helping drunkards reach home safely. Some have even become patrons of the theater.

This card references one particular aspect of the tanuki: the drumming. People would sometimes report the mysterious sound of drumming where no drums could be found. These sounds were attributed to tanukis drumming on their bellies. Here, the artist decided to skip that and just show a tanuki with a drum strapped on. This is said to be a baby tanuki though, so maybe its belly isn't big enough for acoustic accompaniment and it's wearing the drum for practice.

Ability wise, it's a Call for Family. In the Pokemon TCG, some Pokemon had an ability called Call for Family that allowed them to summon Pokemon from the same evolutionary line. While the ability here isn't as restricted, any Level 2 Beast will do, it's clear what the intention was, Ponpoko pounding on his drum to call for the aid of his tanuki brethren. Flavor wise it works.

One final note I want to make is the name. I already pointed out why raccoon is an inaccurate translation, this is referencing something clever the fan translators did. For awhile, fans were calling this guy Tanukit Ponpoko. Tanukit is a portmanteau, two words smashed together, in this case tanuki and kit. A kit is most often used to refer to a young fox, but the term can be applied to other species, including the raccoon. Whether the term can be used for a baby raccoon dog as well I'm unsure, but I thought it was really clever what they did, and I find it sad that the TCG translators weren't as clever.