Porygon - Pokemon TCG

Welcome to 1990s computer graphics!

Porygon is weird.

Porygon is one of the few Pokemon known to be man-made, the Pokemon created through computer code. Just imagine Digimon. The people in charge of the project seems to be Team Rocket, who participated in the creation of another artificially made Pokemon. You can't catch in in the wild in the first game, but if you are lucky enough you can win one as a prize from the Game Corner. Porygon had one appearance in the anime, but the episode is one of several that caused seizures in young children, making its television appearances rare to nonexistent in the states. Porygon's name is a pun on the word polygon, referencing both computer graphics and the weird pronunciation thing in Japanese regarding r's and l's.

The card sucks. Really sucks. Which is a shame, because its two moves, Conversion 1 and Conversion 2, are based on moves Porygon learns in the actual game. The first Conversion works a bit differently, changing Porygon's type to the type of one of its moves (originally the opponent's type), but the spirit is still in there. Why is this card awful then? Besides the 30 HP, Porygon has no moves that deal damage. It can screw with types, but it has no way to profit from it. To use its moves, Porygon becomes a sitting duck, waiting to die so your other Pokemon can use the type switching to their advantage. Theoretically, you could get two Energy on it, use Conversion 2 to make it resistant to the active Pokemon, use Conversion 1 next turn to change the active Pokemon's weakness, and then retreat it on turn 3, but that is an awful lot of work. Plus, your opponent can simply switch to a Pokemon Porygon isn't resistant to, screwing up your plans.

While a neat concept, this card comes across as useless.

Hitmonchan - Pokemon TCG

How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

Hitmonchan is one of several Fighting type Pokemon. In the original game, after defeating some dojo master, you are rewarded with a choice between two Pokemon; Hitmonlee, who specializes in kickboxing, and Hitmonchan, who specializes in normal boxing. Then came Gold and Silver, where a third one was introduced, Hitmontop, who specializes in, uh, break-dance fighting? Seriously, Hitmontop's gimmick was that it spun around like a top. Another new Pokemon was introduced, Tyrogue, who could evolve into any of these guys.

Game wise, look the card. It's attacks are vanilla, no special text needed. That said, Hitmonchan was a very strong player in the TCG. It had decent stats for a Basic Pokemon, and it's attacks were decent. Evolution back in the old game was very lackluster, and it was better to get a Pokemon that was good from the start than to use a crappy one and try to make it stronger later.

I like it's first attack name, Jab. The name is similarly short and sweet, and it reflects well the scale of the attack. The smaller and shorter the attack, the smaller the damage. Special Punch though is a bit lackluster. What's so special about it? It doesn't do anything extra.

Also interesting, while Hitmonchan is in the first set, it wasn't till the third one, Fossil, that they decided to add Hitmonlee.

Mewtwo - Pokemon TCG

Pokemon was what first got me into trading card games. I don't know what it was that attracted me to it, but something about Pokemon cards drew me in, before I even knew about the video games. From there I discovered the Game Boy games, the anime, and a whole new world opened up for me. Pokemon was the first card game I started to seriously collect, and while I'm a bit behind with the six plus new generations of Pokemon, something about the card and the game still calls out to me.

We're looking back at the cards that first got me into gaming, all from the first Pokemon set released in the states, the Base Set. Starting with...

The anti genetic modification Pokemon...

Mewtwo is one of the first legendary Pokemon. The backstory behind it is scientists found DNA from a Pokemon called Mew, at the time believed to be the first Pokemon to exist. Now with all the Poke-gods roaming about, that statement is severely debatable. Anyway, the scientists, taking inspiration from Jurassic Park, tried to create a clone from the existing DNA, and ended up with this fellow. Also following Jurassic Park's script, things went horribly wrong and Mewtwo escaped.

Mewtwo was the primary antagonist for the first Pokemon movie, back in the days where Pokemon films were shown at the cinemas instead of direct-to-video releases. Having seen the movie as a kid, I remember very little of it, and I had no desire to watch it a second time because it was depressing. The anime had a knack for making children cry, which is part of why I stopped watching it. In the film, Mewtwo essentially has developed a hatred for humanity because of hoe it was treated by the scientists and built a villain fortress and cloned the protagonist's Pokemon, blah, blah, blah. He turns good in the end though, because plot convenience.

That all said, take a look above. Does this card evoke "legendary Pokemon" or "something we slapped together at short notice"? Mewtwo is a marquis Pokemon yet this card doesn't do it any justice. Barrier was useless since it dealt no damage, and while it prevented damage your opponent wasn't about to go for an all out attack because they know the barrier is up. Psychic is slightly more decent, being a cheap attack that could potentially cause massive damage, but it still feels a bit lack luster an escaped genetic experiment with awesome psychic powers. This card was one of my first holo rares, but at the time nothing told me it was a powerful and legendary creature.